Tenancy Trouble
by Pepe's Red-Eyed Cousin
Summary: Duncan is not happy when Mal lets one of the spare bedrooms in their house to Tyler. Contains an M/M pairing.


**DISCLAIMER: Mal and Duncan are not a couple in canon. This is just for fun.**

* * *

Duncan did not like it at all.

"Mal, I've been through this, I don't want a roommate," he protested.

Mal looked over at the ceiling before looking back at his book. "Tough."

Duncan blistered at that response. "Tough?! What do you mean, 'tough'?!" he demanded.

"Sweetie, we've _both_ been through this as well," Mal explained, not looking up from his book to face Duncan. "We need the money. We _have_ to have tenant."

"Your job – whatever that is – pays well for the both of us," Duncan insisted.

"My salary is not going towards your fine," Mal fired back at Duncan. "You were stupid enough to get drunk at the pub the other day and piss all over the telephone booth. This is why I cannot trust you right now go behave yourself when you go out with Geoff. Maybe this experience may teach you the lesson you should have learned long ago."

Duncan gripped the armrests of his chair. This is what he hated about Mal. Mal always got his way, and there was no point arguing with him. Duncan would always try and put up a fight, but in the end, it was futile every single time. But it was worth it, though. Duncan could live rent free without having to get a job because Mal's paid more than enough money for the both of them. All he had to do was cook, clean, do the shopping twice a week and satisfy Mal's needs in the bedroom. Plus, he got a good allowance from Mal, was allowed to smoke weed in the shed at the bottom of the back garden, the house was really nice, Duncan's parents adored Mal, and Mal was exceptionally good in the bedroom. But still, Mal constantly getting his way would get on Duncan's nerves at times. This time, it was truly testing his limits, because now there was going to be a third person living with them in their own house!

Duncan rose up from his chair. "I'm going to the shed," he declared.

_Ding! Dong!_

Mal smirked. "I'm afraid, my Precious, that your weed is going to have to wait." He stood up and swaggered over to the front door.

"Tyler!" Mal beamed. "Come on in!"

"Thanks, Mal," Tyler smiled. "I really appreciate you giving me a room. Lindsay got confused again, and now Bridgette and Geoff are living with her."

Duncan burst out laughing when he heard this. "Two Tylers?!" he cackled. "Priceless!"

"Sweetie, be nice to our tenant!" Mal scolded his boyfriend. He returned his attention to Tyler. "Don't mind him, Tyler, he pulls that shit all the time. You'll get used to it though."

"A bit of humour won't do any harm," Tyler shrugged. "I'm over Lindsay for good."

"Before Duncan helps you with your luggage, you have the rent for the first month, and the deposit?" asked Mal.

"Yep!" Tyler withdrew a cheque from his pocket and handed it to Mal. Mal inspected it and grinned.

"Excellent," Mal chirped. He turned to Duncan. "Sweetie, help Tyler with his luggage."

Duncan glared at Mal. "I have to cook dinner, since you won't let us have a takeaway," he protested.

"Sweetie, my job is a lot harder and more stressful than all of those chores you do put together," Mal glared back. "Plus, I had to work my arse off getting Tyler's room ready. Now hope to it!"

Duncan cursed under his breath as he followed Tyler out to the driveway where Tyler's car was. He grabbed a heavy box and pulled it out of the boot until his arms. As he heaved the box up the stairs to Tyler's room, he said to Tyler:

"I hope you're not a vegan, because I'm cooking beef stir fry and rice."

Tyler patted his belly and said: "Stir fry sounds good. All this hard work is making me hungry. When do we eat?"

Duncan looked at his new tenant in disbelief. "You're not lifting anything!"

* * *

Five weeks have passed since Tyler moved in, and Duncan still has not gotten used to having him living in his house. For starters, Tyler's room is the furthest room from Duncan and Mal's room, but even that was too close for Duncan to be able to ignore Tyler's loud snoring – Tyler refuses to close his bedroom door. But that wasn't all. No, this was only the beginning! Tyler would spend way too long in the shower. At face value, this wouldn't seem like a problem for Mal and Duncan, because they had their own en-suite showerrom. However, the day Tyler moved in just so happened to be the same day the water charges came into effect in the municipality they live in, so Duncan became paranoid about incurring expensive water bills. Adding insult to injury, Tyler rarely remembered to clean up after he was done, so Duncan had to clean the bathroom every single day! Duncan had to cook meals for three people rather than two, Tyler was clueless about which rubbish bin to put the refuse into, Duncan had to drive Tyler into work three times because he never bothered to put petrol into his own car the last time he used it and he was in a hurry, and Tyler used the tumble dryer very frequently, driving up their electricity bills.

"One of these days…" Duncan muttered to himself, as he put the hoover back together again after Tyler accidentally got his nail clippers stuck inside it and asked Duncan to retrieve them. After he put the vacuum cleaner back in the cupboard, Duncan unloaded the washing machine and stuffed the clothes into the dryer. He turned the dial and pressed the start bottom, but the drum did not turn. Duncan inspected the machine, only to conclude that the tumble dryer was not working. Sighing with relief, Duncan pulled out the clothes into a basket and took the clothes out the back to hang them out on the clothesline. He decided that this was going to be the routine from then on until the autumn, because there was no way he was getting a new dryer now that Tyler was occupying his house.

Duncan set the basket down on the grass and proceeded to hang the clothes on the line. Those were all Mal's clothes. As soon as he got to the last article of clothing that was left in the basket, Duncan immediately noticed something off about it.

"Briefs?" Duncan frowned. He shook his head. Mal never wore briefs, and Duncan would try to leave Mal if he wore them. Mal knew how much Duncan hated briefs because one day when they went clothes shopping together, Mal jokingly handed Duncan a packet of three pairs of briefs and Duncan flat out told Mal that briefs were banned in their household. There was no way that those briefs were Mal's! Duncan looked at the pair closer and saw the name stitched onto the tag:

Tyler.

Duncan was livid. He grabbed the basket and stormed back into his and Mal's house. He grabbed his mobile phone and rang Mal.

"Sweetie, I'm busy right now," said Mal, as he picked up the phone.

"I don't care, Mal!" Duncan snarled. "Are you cheating on me with Tyler?!"

"Don't raise your voice at me, Sweetie," Mal warned Duncan. "You know what happens to Sweetie when he doesn't behave himself, right?"

Duncan lowered his voice, but he was still freaking angry. "What were Tyler's briefs doing in your laundry?" he demanded.

"How the fuck should I know?" Mal exclaimed. "Look, I hope to do my job, we'll discuss your punishment when I get home for yelling at me." And with that, he hung up, raising Duncan's blood pressure in the process.

* * *

Three hours later, Mal returned home to find Duncan sitting by the kitchen table, waiting for him. Duncan held up Tyler's underwear and said:

"I found these in your washing basket. What were they doing there?!"

Mal shrugged. "Sweetie, you've been on two _Total Drama_ seasons with Tyler. Did it ever occur to you that maybe Tyler might have put it in my basket by accident?"

"Oh, so you have an excuse already, huh?!" Duncan growled.

Mal was beginning to lose his patience with Duncan. "Duncan, I am not cheating on you, now stop this madness this instant!" he ordered. "By the way, why is my dinner not on the table yet?!"

"Don't change the subject!" Duncan snapped at Mal. "Why should I trust you?!" he demanded.

Mal had had enough. "Because I am your husband, Duncan," he replied, unbuckling his belt. "I am giving you one last chance to get your act together…"

"What are you going to do? Spank your new twink when he gets back from work?!" Duncan snorted.

"No," said Mal, stretching his belt. "You've run out of chances." He hung his belt up in the cloakroom and put on another belt.

"No allowance for a month," said Mal. "By the way, I'm cancelling our trip to Hungary."

"Where are you going?!" Duncan demanded, as Mal headed to the door.

"I'm going to get something eat, since my useless husband hasn't cooked for me," Mal glared at Duncan. "You have until tonight to change your behaviour and apologise to me for treating me like shit, or else you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight," he added.

Mal left the house and closed the door behind him.

Duncan was outraged. He looked at the pair of briefs in his hands. Next, he remembered that Mal's clothes were still on the line outside.

He had an idea.

* * *

Mal decided to treat himself to a 9-inch pizza, some garlic bread and a can of Sprite at the pizza shop in town. He was going to take Duncan there tomorrow as a treat, but he decided that Duncan would do without it. He listened to some livestreams on D-Live as he enjoyed his meal. When he was done, he returned to his house only to smell smoke. Mal ran around the side of the house to the back garden, where he saw Duncan standing next to a rust bucket with smoke emerging from it.

"DUNCAN!" Mal yelled. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

"I'm burning your clothes that were on the line, along with homewrecker's underwear!" Duncan cackled. "How do you like that, cheater!"

Mal was furious. He ran into the house and returned when the belt he was wearing earlier today.

"It's been two years since I've last used this on you, Duncan," said Mal, as he walked up to Duncan. "Now you've done it." Duncan realised he was in deep trouble, and he turned to run. Mal chased after him, ready to pounce.


End file.
